Our Desire to Judge Others

HUMAN BEINGS Constantly INSPECT a Person’s APPEARANCE, HYGIENE, AND BEHAVIOR in order TO MAKE Several INSTINCTUAL JUDGMENTS ABOUT Them

Humans are ever assessing the physical characteristics and statements of others which can generate emotional responses when someone encountered rejects a different person’s appearance or behavior. Insults and hyperbolic words are generally employed to demonize many others inaccurately because a part of their appearance or ideology does not conform to that of the accuser. As history seemingly is repeating itself in this period of renewed tribalism via cultural battles some are intentionally misrepresenting opponents and practicing willful ignorance to bolster their ideological arguments. While new problems have manifest in the modern age, several are just evolved versions of prior dilemmas that a unified society can overcome in time. However, unity is a rare modern commodity due to most influential groups maintaining position or status by dividing others and this negative strategy is a powerful one.

We are critical thinkers; many are prone to favoring negative assessments over positive ones since our minds relish judging others and linking patterns of perceived unacceptable traits whether or not the facts comport with this belief. Confirmation bias over controversial topics can affect every person in a debate but especially when the most emotional situations become a subject of controversy. Yet such negative tendencies can be usually be overcome with rational attempts to refrain from emotional judgments and not seeking to establish just ideas that support our preconceived beliefs. Yet no person can always refrain from snap judgments about others because our brains are designed to do precisely that.  

Psychologist Elizabeth Hall states the human brain is "wired to make automatic judgments about others' behaviors, so that we can move through the world without spending too much time or energy on understanding everything we see."i She notes that we can shift between situation and personality attributions for people we encounter and these can vary with little information due to familiarity and mood. While a neighbor might seem to be impolite and even antisocial when they do not respond to a friendly greeting, some recent tragedy may have struck them or they simply were distracted and meant no offense. Yet the facts do not matter to our brain and we might develop an unreasonable dislike without any genuine insult happening with a logically justifiable basis. Thus, imagine what assumptions can happen when a legitimate case of this feeling occurs based on factual events.

One of many reasons for desiring to judge others in later years is gaining acceptance or group status and by rendering a damning public judgment one can accrue both quickly in the right environment. From youth humans are “dependent on their group members. Only through copying their skills and practices are we able to learn how to survive in a diverse, and sometimes even hostile environment.”ii This necessitates cooperation with other humans to “gain access to food, shelter, and protection from attack. Children are born into these social groups” and later they develop strategies for making outside social contacts. During the earliest years of life data reflects that children will aid experimenters and seek to help them without any motivation for external rewards beyond “affiliation” with another person. As toddlers’ humans seek out contact with others socially, prefer cooperative work, and engage in behavior that increases the chances others will consider these associations positive. At five years of age “children share more and steal less when they are being watched by a peer compared to when they are alone.”iii The longer the positive social relationship the more likely a child will be inclined to reinforce positive associations with someone and likely to engage in conflict resolution while enjoying stronger friendships.

Adults establishing social groups undertake a similar path while forming relationships that provide useful skills from peers and they seek to gain social status in a larger association. Yet by the time a human reaches maturity the motivations for a positive relationship take on different values not based merely on just helping others as someone does in youth as older humans often receive more tangible benefits and have less altruistic motivations for developing connections. Varying from group loyalty to financial interest, adults have a much wider range of needs to fulfill but it “is clear our reliance on our group members has also exerted a profound influence over our motivation. Successful group functioning requires that we are motivated to interact, and engage, with those around us” due to an intrinsic need to belong to something larger than ourselves and if we do not our minds can suffer.

The need to belong according to one study has two criteria, frequent positive interactions with at least a few people and these interactions must be include enduring concern for the welfare of the other person. This concern is not merely a desire but maintaining the relationship can turn desire into a psychological need that unfulfilled potentially creates “serious distress and long term-negative consequences. Failure to satisfy a mere want or desire may be disappointing but it is unlikely to lead to as severe distress in the short-term or to negative long-term consequences.” An inability to form several lasting productive relationships leads to bleak psychological outcomes when these social needs are not met and this deficiency is further inflamed by unfair judgments which cause people to snap in anger or despair.   

While quick judgments can be valid and have evidence to support them under the proper circumstances, many personal judgments occur without any deep knowledge of the person or their motivations lacking overt prior actions to reinforce the initial assessment.vi Out of context statements considered offensive are interpreted to support the accuser’s worst assumptions and may incorporate a huge exaggeration about the decried behavior and related implications. For instance, those who claim the look on the face of a person might confirm a political or cultural bias must leap to judgment based on a single interpreted physical trait. Rationally this is an incorrect assumption to make about people without supporting evidence or actions, but it does not prevent many people from doing so daily via social media outlets. This growing unreasonable desire to judge can become harmful to not just the person being judged but it enforces a habitual need in those judging that can damage their social relationships. Such increasing outrage in regard to ever less rational triggers leads to self-destructive judgments that can severely impact the amount of future people that will productively engage with them.

We must possess a healthy self-skepticism before rendering permanent judgments and maintain standard expectations of polite behavior with strangers. How someone engages with ideological opponents provides some insights about their unseen motivations and presents important questions when they lash out. Does a person offer reasonable conversation or do they proclaim a series of judgments as pretext to conversation? Do they believe all people deserve the right speak freely? If honest discourse is the goal why do some groups rely solely on confrontation to prevent the resolution of societal issues with genuine diplomacy? Perhaps discourse for all is not the goal because our human nature can drive us to denounce ideological enemies instead of reasoning with them. That is a serious problem and if we submit to these base instincts too often it undermines the quality of life and mental health of all concerned.
Sincerely,
C.A.A. Savastano

References:
i. Elizabeth Dorrance Hall, May 11, 2018, Why We Judge Others, Psychology Today, psychologytoday.com
ii. Harriet Over, (January 19, 2016), The origins of belonging: social motivation in infants and young children, Philosophical Transactions B, The Royal Society, United States National Library of Medicine, National Institute of Health, ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
iii. Ibid
iv. Nicholas Rule, 2014, Snap-Judgement Science, Observer, Association for Psychological Science, psycholgicalscience.org

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